Truth: There's a Lot on My Plate

I've been discussing with someone lately the challenges of balancing it all.

Is it even possible and what, if anything, should be sacrificed?

Work. Husband. Family. Friends. House. Life. Baby. 

These are not just words. They're my world (and many of yours, too, right?).

I'm participating again in Shell's Pour Your Heart Out blog crawl (my past discussions: weight, loneliness)because this is something that's been weighing on me and I have a feeling many of you.

That's what The Average Girl's Guide is; yet, it's fashion and food and fun and all that, but it's also this real deal stuff no one likes to address but everyone thinks.

That's what this blog is here for.... to get the dialogue going.

We'll all the same at the end of the day. Never forget that.

  

Fact: a totally awesome girlfriend (who seems to have it all!) said that she's frequently discussing the challenges of balancing it all with her gal pals. And, for those debating a baby... can it work? Can I still have my life?

Wheh, that's a lot to answer.

You're talking to a girl who in the past two years has had a baby, a life-altering illness, lost/left her job, started a new PR company AND started a blog, all while dealing with a million other random things. Oh, and with my husband still loving me at the end of it!

I wonder sometimes...

Am I doing the right thing?

Working on a blog post at night instead of spending time with my husband?

Sending my daughter to "school" (ie daycare) while building a career?

Taking good enough care of myself and staying healthy?

Caring for my family, many of whom have had more health issues than I'd like to count?

My answer?

Yes... Usually. Always? Doubtful. But... that's OK, I think.

I wish I had more time for it all, and I wish I could procrastinate a little less (damn you lure of Twitter and Facebook), but I couldn't imagine giving up this blog,
the friendships its afforded me and the creative outlet its provided when I needed it most.
I couldn't give up my career, and the desire to build a business.
I am confident that when my daughter is old enough to know, she will be so proud of her mommy.

So for those of you debating a baby?
Ask any mom: you make the time and you don't even realize it.
Except for daily the moments when I really wish she'd stop crying for a few minutes in the morning so I could sleep longer, I can't remember what I did with the moments of the day that didn't include her.

But what about my family and friends. Could I spend more time with them?
Yes. Especially fam. While I still want more time to spend with friends I realize my grandparents won't be with us forever. I'm so, so fortunate that I still have all four and that they live close. I need to visit more.
I need to travel more to see my mom (even though I just wish she'd move close already)!
I need to try to take better care of my dad, even if he frustrates me to no end.

Oh and me?
Yeah, I need to focus on me, on making the doctor appointments I need to (ya I look pretty "average" but this gal has a few pretty sucky issues you can't see in pics; more on another day), getting the sleep I need, exercising and most importantly, spending quality time with my husband and daughter whenever possible.

So while I don't do this perfectly. I'm trying. And, that's all you can do, too.
Do you feel overwhelmed with everything sometimes like me? I wonder how I can be superwoman.
I realize it does take a village and you cannot be too afraid to ask (or pay!) for help.
I have someone clean our house (usually every two weeks, sometimes more. best. investment. ever.), we hire babysitters so we can go out just the two of us or with couples and have her come early so we can get ready in peace. I'm hiring a full-time associate for my business (woohoo, HUGE step). And...

I'm taking a blog-cation.
Consider this your last post for about a week. (I'll miss you!!!) Will tell you what I'm up to when I return, except to say that not blogging (and trying to stay away from social media when possible) to give me more time to do all the things I haven't been doing.
Maybe I'll even read a book (I recently bought two -- The Help and Tina Fey's Bossypants).
Picture me like this....

Wishing you SUPER-WOMEN a sparkly Fourth of July.

Ready for a Pillow Fight

Totally believe that rugs and pillows are to rooms like smokin' hot purses and heels are to our wardrobe!

They make the look, and can add an instant update for the fraction of the price of revamping everything.

Am I right, ladies?  

In give my living room a mini update, I've been searching for pillows and a new rug. Think I want a dark grey stripe or zig zag (I know, can I be more specific or what?! haha) but I'm still searching for the perfect pillows. Oh, and I refuse to spend $75+ on one stinking pillow. Some pillow prices are outlandish!

How great are these pillows from Rizzy Home currently on sample sale over at Zulily?

Two are just $25 (reg. $80). So many fun patterns and textures!

Here's a few that caught my eye...



Do you have a favorite?? Find these looks and about two dozen more here.

Compliments: Feels Good to Say Thank You!

So proud of myself that I had to share with you:

a girlfriend I hadn't seen recently told me today when I saw her that I looked great. My response:

THANK YOU...

ya know, I FEEL GREAT!

Wow. My response caught me off guard because I find it hard to take a compliment.

Are you good at taking compliments and appreciating them, or do you instead say "oh please, my hair looks like a mess today" or "thanks but my thighs are about to explode they're so huge!"

(don't lie: so many of us are guilty of it!).

Ya know what?

I walked away feeling REALLY great about myself... and my response. 

Try taking a compliment sometime.

You'll like it.

(via)

A Few Women Who Make Me Smile

Ahh, summer reading! I should be reading more books, yet I find myself mindlessly gazing at the pages of People, Star, Life & Style or some rag. I absolutely adore seeing what celebs wear and the latest trends, but these magazines can get cruel, too. Pointing out cellulite, the is it a "baby bump/big meal/gaining weight" insanity and glamorizing crumbling marriages to sell more mags. Boo!

Let's take a minute to remember that these are real women.

Yes, they're making gazillions of bucks (must be nice) but many are not crazy pap-seekers.
They're just trying to live their life under a microscope that I'm not sure I'd like to be under.

Think about the same with friends and female acquaintances, and all the little conversations and gossip that takes place about them. Drop it, unless it's a compliment. Just take them for what they are...
another gal just trying living her life, trying to be the best version of her.

Here are a few classy celebs whose smile makes me smile!

Happy Friday, friends!

 and, of course....

Pour Your Heart Out: Weight

I was soooooooo relieved a few weeks back when I poured my heart out about feeling lonely sometimes and you gals comforted me, sympathized and shared what's happening in your life.
Seeing as this blog is for real women who deal with weighty issues (pun intended),
I wanted to broach the topic of weight, and... I'm sharing my number.

{ps: this is me again participating in Pour Your Heart Out from The Things I cannot Say.}

First of all... weight: UGH!

It's soooooo frustrating sometimes.
It's how we look, it's the stupid number that gets so many women riled up.
Is it up, is it down... do I weight less than her?! 
Most women are lying if they say they've never compared themselves to another woman and felt a teeny tiny satisfaction knowing they weigh less than the other. Don't lie.
Heck, I'll admit it: I have, and I've come to realize how absurd that is. No one is like me.
She could be five inches taller, have breasts three times the size of mine, anything. Why am I comparing??

At 31-years-old I need to know it's pointless.
I'm over it. At least, I'm going to try my damnedest to be!
This is who I am. A 124-lb. woman who is proud of her body. I have to be.
This body is my vessel taking me through life. In just two years it's carried a baby and has come back from paralysis. It's created life and overcoming freaking paralysis. Pretty incredible.

About me: I'm a Weight Watcher lifetime member who's lowest weight hovered around 115 pounds. In remember in elementary and middle school I was always the girl who was a little overweight,
and in high school and college I was always in the 140s. Not the 1-teens or 120s like the "popular girls."

I remember talking in high school to a best friend (an adorable little thing who must have weighed nothing and ate more carbs than you could imagine)... she told me this awful story about how her brother had a party and put some crappy note on the door that only women under 120 lbs could enter. I just said how obnoxious and moved on. Yet, 15 freaking years later I still remember that conversation. Why? Because, I, at 140ish lbs, would not have been invited inside my best friend's door.
I guess that's what started my "number fixation." Thanks, dude.

After college in 2002, I got a desk job that caused my thighs to expand and my pants to practically bust at the seams. A clasp even broke off the waistband. Embarrassing truth.
Can't believe I'm posting this: here's me in early 2002. Did I not realize this dress didn't fit??

Soon after, during a random doctor visit  the nurse had to move that little thing on the scale from the 100 to 150 bracket. I knew in that moment that I needed to do something.
My size 12 pants were getting awfully tight.

Weight Watchers was hugely successful. I started at 153 and went down to about 115 at my lowest.

Here's me at a bridal shower in 2003, I believe.

WOW, check out that chick's jawline and little waist! haha.

Cruel life (weight) truth:

Just because you're thin -- and at your supposed dream weight -- doesn't mean you're happier.

After being a size 10 my whole life, it took me years to see the woman I am now. I'd pick up clothes that were a size 6 or 8 thinking it was me, but I was typically a size 2. Body dismorphic disorder for sure. And, it was at my thinnest that I compared myself the most. Weird, right?
I noticed dimples on my thighs that looking back, I don't remember agonizing over when I was "bigger."

I think, how could I have been happier at that weight? Yet, I was. Had friends, had boyfriends.

I'm sharing this because I know many of us struggle with our weight. I'll be honest. My goal is 120 pounds, three pounds less than where I'm at. HOWEVER, I'd be thrilled to stay where I am if I could be more toned and fit. It's something I'm working on (did pilates this morning!).
Focus on being healthy. I recognize I needed to lose weight years ago and am happy I did so. It knocked my cholesterol below 200 for the first time in my life. I eat healthier and am more conscious of myself. That's what it's about. Not the number, not the spots on your body that you wish were different.

LISTEN UP:
Do not let your weight consume you and be who you are. Do not be so hard on yourself.
If you have a bad meal, weigh more than you want or have thighs with a few dimples, deal with it. LIVE.
I know now I rather enjoy great meals than be five pounds less. You might disagree with me, and that's fine, but to me that's living life and enjoying it.

After going through what I have these past two years I've learned we can't keep bringing ourselves down about our body. "I look so fat in this outfit," yada, yada, yada.
It's so damn consuming, negative and miserable.
Stop yourself, and instead find something -- anything -- about yourself that you're happy about and say it aloud. Believe it.

You are who you are. Embrace it.

(thanks for listening)

 

Review: Birchbox (beauty to your doorstep!)

It’s about time I shared with you my beauty love: 

BIRCHBOX.

Have you heard of it yet? If not, read carefully. This is important scoop:

Let’s call it a beauty club. For $10/month, Birchbox sends to you deluxe beauty samples of the newest, best and often, the most coveted  products.

I just received my second box (they come once a month) so now I'm fully capable of giving you my two cents… actually, a lot more!

Here's how the box looks once unwrapped from mailing box...

Moi's vote on Birchbox after two month's of service? A!

Before I tell you why I graded it so well, must confess that I’m not a beauty junkie or the gal who would ever test out and cross compare four eyeliners, for example.

However, as I’m getting older (and wiser!), I am interested in products that can keep some lines at bay and keep my skin looking young and vibrant. I also increasingly find myself seeking affordable new products to make me look my best.

What I find so appealing about Birchbox is that I get to try products and brands I never would have purchased on my own. Some of which, by the way, are only available online or in upscale stores that might make me feel uncomfortable to test products. Those women can be so rude or snooty! Haha. 

The $10 monthly price is worth it right there!

Before you receive any products, Birchbox requests you complete a quick beauty profile. This way, they send you the types of items you want and that are ideal for your needs.

Here’s what my Birchbox looked like this month when I opened it.

And, here's last month's...
(mental note to fully unwrap before snapping pics; lots more beauty goodies hidden inside!

Last month, a favorite was Zoya nail polish in a shimmery gold. This month, my fave is the Jouer moisturizing lip gloss. I’ve been ddyyyyiinnngggg to try this brand the past few weeks so was thrilled to see it here.

(And, it is indeed amazing; ample moisture with a sparkly shimmer).

Each box comes with this handy dandy card like this one to give you the full deets on each product.

If you love an item so much you want it full size, you can buy it from Birchbox and earn loyalty points along the way good toward future purchases. And, during the month, Birchbox sends you a few informative emails with a make-up tip or trick, the scoop on a new product or something else.

I haven’t tried all my products yet (or confession: even one or two from my last box),

however my $10/month is totally worth what I have tried so far…

and nothing beats the fun of getting a package in the mail every 30 days.

Happy holidays to me!

Have you tried Birchbox? Are you a fan?

Or, are you going to give it a go?

Have a Great Weekend!

I'm heading on...

While typing this I should be packing! Or, playing on my new iPad (which arrived this morning and the husband is already watching movie previews. Umm, did I miss something? haha).

As for this weekend, I'm sadly leaving the hubs and smiley chickie for a weekend in Houston. Yeehaw!

On the upside, I'm heading there to celebrate my cousin's engagement, see our Texas fam, and meet this guy everyone's been talking about. I also get to cuddle with our fam's most recent addition... an adorable six-month old I've been dying to get my hands on! I can't wait for her to get to know my girl one of these days.

Until then though, this vacay is for the big kids! And now... back to packing! 

Wishing you a great weekend as well.

Anything fun in store on your end??

I do, I do, tiaras and love

Ahh, the Royal Wedding!

The talk of the globe.

Truth: I slept past the I do's in favor of getting a few extra minutes of much-needed sleep. I did catch the nanosecond kiss though... and in true nerdy fashion, got a little weepy! haha.

There's just something so incredible about a wedding, the thought of true love and each of us being a princess for a day. Frankly, we should all always consider ourselves a princess...

or a duchess, as the case might be.

{just need to score ourselves this Cartier Halo tiara and a gown by McQueen!}

 {photo: US Weekly/Getty images}

Weddings are just so magical, and every time I attend one I think of my own and what a happy day it was to be surrounded by friends and family as Adam and I cemented our love to one another. 

I often think of a photograph of the two of us that always makes me smile. It's the moment right after we said our vows and took our first walk as husband and wife. It was beyond words. Check us out!

Ahhhh, so that's today's post. Tiaras, weddings and love. My apologies if today's post isn't more informative but to me it seems like the most important in the world. And, I do have a message:

Take a few minutes to think about the love in your life, who loves you and who you love. I'm not talking specifically about husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends or whatnot.

LOVE...in any form that makes you happy.

Your friends, your doggie, your mama, your ipad!

Haha, ok maybe not the ipad, but all the others.

Invest in these relationships;
these are the ones that matter, ladies.

(and yes, this message is worth putting in big, bold, italicized font).

Have a great weekend!!

Sometimes...(How I Really Feel)

The Average Girl's Guide is a place that links us all, where I remind you that at the end of the day, that you, me, we're all the same typical gal just wanting to live a fabulous life.

I hope I can be a best friend of sorts to you, be it providing advice on what to wear or how to find a deal, or offer perspective on a more serious topic. It's also a place where I need to be honest with all of you.

Today I'm participating in Pour Your Heart Out from the blog, The Things I cannot Say
because while I'm writing about fashion and food this has been on my mind...

Sometimes...
Sometimes, I feel alone. Really lonely. That seems so strange because I have the most loving husband in the world, an incredible daughter, loving fam and the most supportive friends.
Yet, still, sometimes I feel alone in a sea full of people. Like there's no one there if I needed them.

I think a lot of my loneliness relates to friends.
I have a few friends I feel really connected to that live far away. I sometimes think that if they lived nearby I know I'd be happier. No pressure, right? haha. Friends who know me, know my story, and who I am. Who you don't have to be "on" when you see them because you can just be YOU. I miss that.

I do have close friends here, don't get me wrong, and they've stood by me this past year more than I wish they had to. But, they only know this subsection of my life... they haven't yet learned fully who I am and I don't know fully who they are.

And, while I love working -- I've embarked on a new adventure of starting my own business this year, and fortunately, have been doing very well -- it's like I'm no longer accessible to the friends who are stay-at-home moms, and yet am not in the same category as the full-time working friends or don't work near them. That's a big issue with working from home.... a million lunch dates, I suppose?

I'm sharing this because this blog is as much about the fun as it is about the real. And, this is who I am and who you're reading from when you read the other stuff. I'm often happy, really happy, but I get in these ruts and it builds on itself.

Does this happen to you?
I like to think that many women, even the most popular, feel this way sometimes.
It's almost impossible to be happy all the time. Would love your thoughts on what you do to you pick yourself up (besides downing a monster bag of pretzel m&ms like I've been doing!)

Thanks for listening, ladies. Wishing you all of the happiness, health and fulfillment in the world!

Snapshot: Latest iPhone Pics, Installment 1

In order to share about me, the gal behind The Average Girl's Guide and who I like to refer to in third person as your 'in-the-know best friend,' thought I'd share some fun snapshots of my life. 

Don't they say a picture is worth a thousand words?

I'm not sure who "they" are, but I do love taking pictures and sharing them!
I'm starting this occasional series -- assuming you like it! so please do let me know -- where I'll share some of the pics I've been snapping on my iPhone.  

ps: I recently discovered instagram. obsession city.
You can add 'filters' to pictures that make them look awe-some
(as evidenced from some of my photos below).

Received my bright purple cardy in the mail that I scooped up during her major sale. Love it. And, check out this packaging with the logo on the inside of the box. Cardy is wrapped in the bright orange plastic and that envelope below holds my receipt... totally keeping it! Perfect for loose receipts on my desk (it even suggests to use it!).

In the dollar bins at Target. Could not resist (reminder: do not go shopping while hungry) .

Won this Cooking Channel shirt at the Hungry Girl book signing last week (pics forthcoming). Yay!

It's so me, and score: it's an American Apparel tee=super comfy.

First day wearing sandals in a long, long time. This is in my backyard.

And those sandals are Cynthia Vincent for Target (last summer), with lavender polish on the toesies.

Nerdy? Yes. This is because of Twitter. Snapped this while in the Target dressing room to get my Twitter buds opinions about which color to go for on this adorable dress (wrote about it: here; just $17.99 this week). Nearly 20 total sweethearts weighed in (red won).

AND.... I leave you with a photo of the best thing on this planet, at least to me: my little girl!

Here she is during our afternoon out yesterday. We had girl time on the carousel followed by yummy yogurt! We also sang her new fave, "the wheels on the bus..." Pure heaven.

Have a great weekend, friends! 

Sometimes there's nothing better than...

PIZZA!

Just returned from dinner out with another couple and their kiddie.

Dinner was a little chaotic, as it often is when little ones are around.

But, there's nothing like a slice o' pizza to end a long week.

My week flew by.

Hoping the weekend doesn't!

Funny that tonight I ate pizza and tomorrow I'm off to a book signing fo Hungry Girl, Lisa Lillien. It's in Boca Raton at 2 pm. Somehow I feel like she would have found me an alternative item on the menu.

Better off seeing her tomorrow!

Hope you lovely ladies are having an equally fabulous Friday night!

Too Hot to Handle

It's a steamy 80-something degrees today in Florida (sweat-y!) and I recently received an email from Saks with this gorge skinny minnie donning hot vintage-inspired suits from Diane von Furstenberg. Do I need any other reminder that it's time to start working on the thighs and tummy? Doubtful.

DvF swim

At least the bathing suits are divine, though if this gal would take the plunge, pun intended, she rather purchase one of the gorgeous DvF cover-ups!

(real world: not spending $200 or $300 on either but it gives me great inspiration to search for statement-making prints when shopping at other stores!)

So Flattered: First Bloggie Award, Seven Fast Facts & Paying it Forward!

Guess which girl is flattered? THIS ONE! I've just received my first mini blogger award. Called the Versatile Blogger Award, the adorable, super-talented Hallie from Coral & Cognacs bestowed this upon me. Check it out here.

As part of the award, I'm supposed to link to the person who awarded it to them, write seven facts about themselves, and award it to seven other bloggers.

Here goes with my seven fast facts:

1. I have an incredible, smart, smiley little 16-month daughter, Sarah, with my amazing hubs, Adam. He also doubles as my photographer extraordinaire for my outfit posts on the blog.

2. I love booty-shaking music, and know words to more 90s booty rap songs than most would care to admit. Should one come on... watch out: tis girl's a breakin' it down!
3. I'll be a whopping 31 years old on Friday.
4. I could eat sushi breakfast, lunch and dinner.
5. I have a master's degree. For those who are interested, in mass comm with a speciality in strategic communication.... and there was a two-year hiatus between the coursework and thesis (finished less than two years ago). Ok, not quite a fast fact but I'm so happy to have the degree -- and have that thesis behind me! -- that I have to share! haha
6. Thinks Fresca soda combined with vodka tastes pretty awesome (and is a low-cal cocktail!)
7. The blog is my side business... and a total passion. By day, I own a pr/marketing/social media company that I started in the Fall and work from home.

And, check out these seven bloggers who totally define versatility and overall fabulousness:

1. Stripes & Sequins
2. Bon Bon Rose Girls
3. Much Love, Illy
4. Sandy a la Mode
5. Haute Lunch
6. Blonde Episodes
7. Budget Babe

Thanks again to Hallie of Corals & Cognacs!

For Japan With Love

 

This past week, I've been beyond saddened at the devastation in Japan. The pictures and video are awful and heart wrenching. You want to help, yet somehow it seems so beyond comprehensible. Well, there is a way to help.

To help those who are suffering this unthinkable loss, I am participating in a fundraising effort called For Japan with Love. It's a blogger day of silence where all funds raised will go to Shelterbox. Essentially, Shelterboxes are given to disaster victims; they contain many of the necessities needed to survive. Hundreds of other bloggers have also joined the effort, set up by the wonderful ladies at Ever Ours and Utterly Engaged, and I'm proud to be part of this monster-sized movement.

Hope you'll consider donating here, or through another organization you'd like. Every dollar counts. See you over the weekend.

Coffee Cuff Chic

There's nothing like a hot cup of coffee when it's cold outside (or when it's 90 degrees in Florida and I could use a little jump start!). For those dealing with the snowpocolypse, I'm giving you even more incentive to stay in doors, sit by a fireplace if you have one, and enjoy something that warms you from the inside out.

When sipping your favorite toasty one, you need to keep your hands from steaming up. While the Starbucks brown recycled coffee cuff is a certainly statement maker, so is using your own chic cuff or sleeve. Whether your sipping a cup of joe from the 'bucks, a no-name version from who-knows-where or bringing your own, rest assured you'll still look fashionable.  Did you realize you discard more than five pounds of garbage if you tossed one a day for a year? Eek.

Would love my cup nuzzling up to one of these every day:

Knitty Bitties, Limited offer: Stamped With Love Happy Little Coffee Coat, $9.50

Umbra, HandiSleeve Reusable Cup Holder, 6.99

Hip Grip, Reusable sleeve in Orange Squares, $13.95 (a compartment holds your coffee cash or gift card!)

Castlegate, Java Monkey - Jitterette, $15.00

Fusionbrands, Cupcooley Reusable Silicone Cup Cozy, $9.06